June 21, 2013

Shark Movie Rap Showdown: DEEP BLUE SEA vs. SHARK NIGHT 3D (in 2D)

Today we pay tribute to one of recent cinema’s greatest traditions: the Shark Movie-inspired rap song.

The 1999 Renny Harlin-directed Deep Blue Sea long held the distinguished title of “only Shark Movie-inspired rap song” for over a decade. After watching the video you’ll have no doubt as to why.

Wearing an outfit that falls somewhere between bondage and nudist butcher, Mr. J takes us on a lyrical journey in effort to drive home the point that his hat is like a shark’s fin. If you remember, in the film, he played the bible verse quoting chef that never wore a hat. In the video however he does sport a cap that slightly resembles the fin of the Bluntnose Sixgill Shark. At the two minute mark of the video you will feel your smile fade and realize it’s only half over. Then it gets good again as L.L. commands you to take it deeper while he rubs his chest.

It would be 12 long years before a contender to the throne would dare challenge LL. Enter the cast from the David Ellis directed Shark Night 3D. Dustin Milligan leads his mostly-there-as-shark-fodder co-stars in a genuinely hilarious post-credits rap that surpasses the film that preceded it. It makes more sense if you’ve seen the movie but knowing that the cast played this with the right tone that never took itself too seriously, chances are you will still dig it.

Cast your vote! Who reigns supreme? I mean, we know it’s the Shark Night crew, but just in case you feel differently.